Monday

Germ Warfare

FACT: Big cartoony germs must scare the hell out of people, because they're used over and over again in household cleaning ads. Lysol's brilliant solution to getting rid of the millions of germs spreading throughout your house is to spray every toilet, doorknob, pen, pencil, and anything that's ever been touched. What they don't tell you could save a hours a day and loads of money by simply washing your hands after you go to the bathroom...you know, like a normal person. But if you want to live like Howard Hughes in his final years, douche your home with Lysol every 15 minutes.