Cancer Shtick

If you're not getting ideal fuel efficiency, maybe it's because you're secretly chauffeuring around this "pancreatic cancer" guy. Besides adding dead weight to your car, who knows what other annoying things he's doing in there. He might be stealing pennies from your ashtray or changing your preset radio stations to smooth jazz and Spanish talk radio.

Go away cancer guy, you have 35,000 other people to kill this year.

If you're going to continue sleeping in my car, at least ride in the front seat so I don't look like your driver bitch.